‘Who Am I?’ w/ Process Analysis

•2.November.2009 • Leave a Comment

 

Process Analysis

“Who am I?” This is the central question to everyone’s life. This is the question that drives his or her story. Does anyone really know who he or she is? The answer is simpler than you think — yes, but no. “Yes” means the obvious. Everyone is a physical being. However, “no” means we are all much more than just physical beings, and that’s where the question comes into play. How much more are we?

I’ve spent my entire life struggling to answer the question, as I’m sure you have, as well. I’ve especially been trying to figure it out in the past week. In an attempt to do so, I’ve been documenting parts of my life. I’ve shot footage of my life when I’ve been angry, sad, happy, and everything in between. After that, I took the footage and cut it to convey the answer to “Who am I?” The answer is an infinite question mark.

I don’t know who I am, nor do I think I’ll ever know. All I know is that I am me.

Feelings of Yesterday

•22.October.2009 • Leave a Comment

In preparation, I write out what I’m going to say when I make the call that could change my life dramatically. As I type, my pulse accelerates increasingly. My hands become clammy. I finish typing and reach for the phone. Once my fingers make contact with the device that delivers good news and bad news, my entire body becomes overwhelmed with the uncomfortable yet intricate blend we are all too familiar with — excitement and anxiety. I knew I wouldn’t even be talking to him, but just the thought of talking to someone who probably knew him is enough to make my nerves and heart swell! I take a breath, and begin dialing, 2-1-2-6-7. . . The ringback begins to sound. My heart is racing Pegasus. The ringing stops . . . A quiet voice begins to speak, but I miss the first few words: “…this is Elizabeth. How can I help you?”
To my surprise, I am able to speak clearly: “Hi, is Kathleen Talbert available?” Elizabeth tells me Kathleen isn’t in the office at the moment and asks what my call is regarding. I let her know. She suggests that I submit my request in writing via e-mail. I immediately start rephrasing my notes of what to say and put it into an e-mail. I can now relax, as the ball is in their court.

Overload (Vitamin D)

•28.September.2009 • Leave a Comment

Overload (Vitamin D)
[A First Person Perspective of a Portrait Subject]

I am the obese man. I am 47 years old. Every day, I live through the same shit; the only difference is the date on the calendar in my tiny cubicle; my tiny cubicle only fits my desk and chair; I lift the embarrassment that is called my stomach in my hands and shove myself in my tiny cubicle. In my youth, my schoolmates would call me names: “Hey, Fatso!” “Hey, Blimp!” “Hey, Whale!” “Hey, Lard Ass!” I’d slowly walk home with my head hung low as the other children pelted me with the desserts left over from their lunch boxes. When I’d get home, my divorcee mother would lock herself in her room, sobbing. I’d eat away our tears. Nothing has changed since then, besides the name calling. The names are now stares. The only thing I want to do when I get home is stand in the shower — naked, exposed. HOW MUCH OF ME DO YOU REALLY SEE?

Censor Censorship: A Manifesto

•21.September.2009 • 1 Comment

The reason why the USA is probably the top close-minded developed country is the ridiculously strict censorship. A week ago (September 13th), a British film about Charles Darwin saw this problem face-to-face. It has failed to find a U.S. distributor because the subject of evolution is too controversial for Americans. The U.S. needs to get off their ignorant asses, and open their minds. The U.S. film distributors need to come out of their hiding spots and not be scared of a little controversy. Controversy is a good thing. It gets you noticed!

U.S. censorship has become so out-of-hand, that artists have begun to censor themselves. There are artists out there who feel they cannot fully express themselves without being harassed by people from agencies like the FCC and MPAA. When a person feels like they can’t fully express themselves, it’s called repression. The government is repressing artists on a daily basis. Last time I checked the history books, repression is a bad thing. Right? Slavery was repression. What the U.S. is doing to it’s artists is the equivalent to slavery. The government has repressed the artist’s freedom of expression.

It’s time for the U.S. to stop being scared of change. Of differences. Of controversy. If the United States are supposed to be “united,” why do I feel so left out?

The Evolution of Humans

•30.August.2009 • Leave a Comment

I hate when people purposely try to piss me off. It doesn’t anger me; just greatly irritates me. When did the evolution of humans take a wrong turn? No one seems to understand the word “respect” anymore. I’ve had to constantly put up with fools like those people — if they can even be called people. They’re not people. Their assholes, douchbags, pricks, etc. I know that they purposely try to piss people off because there is something lacking in their life, but many of them also seem to do it because they feel like they’re the shit — like they’re better than their victims. Like I said, I’ve had to constantly put up with their shit throughout the entire 22 years of my life. When I was in elementary school, I loved to run.

Did you know that if you love to run, you’re automatically considered a show-off? These people — I mean — things see that you can do better than them at something, so they immediately start to eat you, shredding you apart. Most people will tell you that these things are like vultures, but they’re not. They’re worse. They’re parasitic worms. They don’t just swallow their victims instantaneously. They take years, savouring the tenderness of their host’s unsuspecting body. The only thing they leave is the host’s heart. However, they don’t leave it the way they found it. They leave the heart bruised and scarred.

When I reached middle school, I began to feel these creatures squirming through my veins and up and around my brain. It was only a matter of time before I stopped running and became weak, but before they killed me, I found a new power. I picked up acting during 7th grade. In the middle of 7th grade, I went to an acting competition. Finding success again, I went back to school with a bit more strength than before. I went through 8th grade, with the parasites nagging at me, but alas I didn’t feel them. Then, high school came along. I went through the first half of freshman year not feeling the parasites, but around the middle I felt them again. This time it was worse. They started slashing and bruising my wrists and arms with pocket knives. They had apparently found strength, as well. Throughout high school, all the way until graduation, they picked at my soul as children pick at their peas — stabbing and stabbing until they finally put a pea in their mouths.

College came around, and I learned to surround myself with actual human beings. I also eventually learned how to say “Fuck you” to most of the parasites who tried feeding upon me. And now, at 22 years of age, I’ve developed a sense for them. When they first touch me, I can feel them, but instead of anger and pain, I feel only a slight irritation, and am able to flush them out of my system.

– THE END –

Binky’s Playboy Shoot!

•13.July.2009 • Leave a Comment

To start off the shoot, we did some warm up shots to get Binky relaxed!

Relaxing Wide Shot

Relaxing Wide Shot

Relaxing Medium Shot

Relaxing Medium Shot

Relaxing Close-Up Shot

Relaxing Close-Up Shot

After warming up a bit, we took it to the couch to get racy! Eat your heart out, Playboy!

Eat.......

Eat.......

Your heart.......

Your heart.......

OUT!!!

OUT!!!

Binky and Bailey Recreate “The Shining!”

•12.July.2009 • Leave a Comment

Bailey wanted to go outside today, so I took her out with my camera as usual. Binky decided she wanted to get in on the action, as well! Here are the results:

Bailey breaking in....

Bailey breaking in....

Heeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre's Baileeyyyyy!!!

Heeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre's Baileeyyyyy!!!

CIMG2472Bailey Goes in for the kill!
After the killing, Bailey gets ready to eat!

After the killing, Bailey gets ready to eat!

Except Binky comes along to see what's going on!

Except Binky comes along to see what's going on!

Binky Chows Down!

Binky Chows Down!

Well those are the feature photos for today! Hope you liked them!

A Possessed Pink Pick-up Truck

•5.July.2009 • Leave a Comment
So I have the idea, but now I need the story. I want to make a no-to-low budget grindhouse film about a possessed pink pick-up truck. I know vehicle possession has been done before in horror films (i.e. Maximum Overdrive, Christine, and Trucks), but I want to make one that breaks the mold. I want to make my truck as personified as possible. Not only is it a murderous machine, but it also eats, smokes cigarettes, bleeds, etc, etc. Ideas are flowing through my head like blood through veins, but some of them seem impossible with a no/low budget. For example, how can I make a lighter remote activated? How can I make the truck chew? How this? How that? I should probably leave the special effects aside until I actually figure out the story.. What is the truck’s method to its madness? We’ll see.
Maybe this will be the picture for the movie poster:
'Barbie' Smokes!

'Barbie' Smokes!

Bailey’s Latest Photoshoot

•2.July.2009 • Leave a Comment

Here’s my sister’s cat’s latest photoshoot!

On the Look Out

On the Look Out

Staring

Staring

Playboy Vixen

Playboy Vixen

The Great Yawn

The Great Yawn

Caught

Caught

Laid Back

Laid Back

Feline Flower Power

Feline Flower Power

Vigilante

Vigilante

Cats Ear View

Cats Ear View

Cat Tracks

Cat Tracks

Stand Tall

Stand Tall

Nickel: A Tribute

•25.June.2009 • Leave a Comment

Rest in Peace, big baby boy. You have been the best dog anyone can ask for. To me you’re not just a dog. You’re my brother. My son. My mentor. You have been there for me when I needed it most. I have always been able to talk to you, and you let me know everything would be okay. You will always be a part of me. You will always have my love. I love you.